Category: Parenting Tips

Play With Toys to Help Young Children Develop, Don’t Just Rely on Technology Products

Post author By system
Post date 01/01/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Certified Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah, New Horizons Development Centre

As the 21st century has entered the generation of electronic media, many parents are not used to buying newspapers, but have also become accustomed to communicating with people online, shopping, reading newspapers and playing games etc. Some parents have also started to buy fewer toys for their children because many games can be played online anytime and anywhere, which is convenient and economical, and the items are diversified and easy to carry.

In fact, the use of computers is becoming more and more popular, from the business world to the education world and everyone’s daily life. Some parents feel that they need to teach their children to use computers as soon as possible so that they can be one step ahead of others and become smarter. But this argument ignores the fact that no matter how diversified and comprehensive the use of electronic media is, everyone needs to live in the real world and deal with their daily lives in a real way.

In recent years, more and more children are being diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, some of which are genetic in origin, but some of which are caused by a lack of proper stimulation in later life. Regardless of the cause, society is increasingly demanding more and more of human sensory integration, but unfortunately, as young children grow up, their bodies are less likely to be switched to different space direction due to advanced technology, and their eyes and hands are left to complete tasks on their behalf without much coordination. They will need to face many challenges in the future, but if they are not sufficiently trained during their growth, they will easily encounter many obstacles in the future.

Playing with toys is a natural part of a child’s life, and if they have virtual toys or games, they may lack real personal sensory stimulation. During the infant and toddler years, parents need to provide them with sensory stimulation of the ears, eyes, hands, feet, body, and brain so that they can develop the coordination exercises they need. There are many toys available in the market according to their age, and the categories are very clear, such as 6 months play, one year play, two years play …… you name it. As long as parents are willing to buy, it is not difficult to find the right toys, such as hand-eye coordination, ear-hand interaction and ear-eye sensory integration.

In addition, parents may want their children to grow up to be teachers, police officers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, or bosses, so they can directly and specifically play the roles, manipulate the tools needed, apply appropriate language, and interact with people in a realistic way through toys. Parents are advised to buy such toys related to vocational skills to induce them to play in these roles, as opposed to just looking at a computer screen to fully grasp multi-sensory stimulation.

Although parents may spend a lot of money on toys, and the time spent playing with them may not be very long, it is definitely worth it to ensure that they get the stimulation they deserve. For a more environmentally friendly use of these toys, parents can also collect toys in three-month increments and resell them to other parents or give them to friends. Parents should remember to buy the right toys for their children’s development

Parenting Tips

Open-ended questions help enhance children’s associative skills

Post author By system
Post date 01/12/2024

家長錦囊

Parenting Tips

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist

Many parents hope to enhance their children’s thinking skills. In fact, as long as parents properly guide their children to connect some small things in life and then ask leading questions, they can consciously think about the things they see and related knowledge. For example, when children see an apple, let them think about what kind of object is also round or red; when they hear the sound of birds, they will think about what kind of animal can fly.

Ask your child more questions that are not restrictive

When parents ask children questions, do not force them to answer or ask for a definite answer, or even ask them to answer the question right away because they may still be thinking about it. Parents do not need to ask any restrictive questions and can ask whatever comes to mind, such as what kind of objects chopsticks are like and what kind of people wear uniforms like students. In addition to making them think more, parents can also think and discuss with their children as a parent-child activity, which helps to enhance their relationship.

In addition to asking individual questions, parents can also allow children to answer questions with their siblings or friends. For children with higher ability, parents can let them answer more different answers; for children with average ability, they can answer fewer answers; for those with weaker ability, parents can guide them to answer through appropriate prompting and demonstration.

Parents can look for questions in their lives

Parents can look for questions in their lives that they can ask. They can even try to ask questions that are imaginative and open to discussion, so that their children can use their imagination and associative power. For example, parents can ask their children what things are round outdoors, what things in the house are made of iron, what foods are red, and so on. On the other hand, questions with definite and positive answers, such as math questions (1 plus 1 equals how many), are generally called “closed-ended questions” and are not very helpful in improving children’s associative skills because they only have specific answers.

In fact, creation and association should start from the smallest things, which is a good way to train children’s associative and thinking skills. Therefore, parents should start from today to enhance your child’s associative skills!

Parenting Tips

Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children?

Post author By system
Post date 01/12/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Gigamind English Primary School, Principal Kenneth Law

The Primary 1 application process has begun. How can parents choose the right school for their children? How to determine if a school is the right one? While a child’s individual traits are certainly important, young children are highly adaptable. Therefore, the parents’ expectations for education and whether the school can meet those expectations become more crucial. Parents can learn about a school through the following methods:

School websites

Many parents would use the school website to understand the school, but the design direction of different school websites varies, making it difficult to compare them. However, websites generally provide some basic information, which can be considered a convenient way to learn about the school.

Primary School Profile

“Primary School Overview” is also a means to obtain basic information about schools. Unlike websites, the layout of “Primary School Overview” has limitations on titles and word count, making it appear easier to compare. However, it is difficult to see the school’s features, so “Primary School Overview” can only be considered as an additional convenient approach for parents to get to know the school.

Understanding through “Word of Mouth”

Collecting opinions of different people about the school, commonly known as “word of mouth,” can be an important way to understand the school. In fact, it is also a significant factor considered by most parents. However, there are two points that parents need to pay attention to when understanding the school through word of mouth. Firstly, everyone’s observations may be incomplete, and schools can change, so parents should listen to different opinions. Secondly, everyone has different expectations for education. What others consider important advantages may not be important to you, and you may even consider them as disadvantages.

Visiting the School

What about visiting the school? Some people doubt whether visiting the school can reveal its true nature, but I believe that personal contact is still important. Every school has information they want the public to know, which represents the elements the school values. This information can be obtained during a visit. Does this school want everyone to know that its students have good discipline or are lively and confident? Does it emphasize high academic standards or a diverse range of activities? Parents can make comparisons based on these aspects.

By having a clear understanding of their own expectations for education and evaluating in their own direction, it is less likely to be influenced by superficial factors. Choosing a school for one’s children is not easy, but if parents can be clear about what they want and use various approaches to gather information, they will believe that everything will fall into place.

Parenting Tips

Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs

Post author By system
Post date 01/12/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Child Play Therapist, Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

Recently, I saw a friend share a short video on Facebook, featuring her 5-year-old son demonstrating how to cut broccoli with a serrated knife. The edited video lasted about three and a half minutes and was filmed entirely by the mother. In the video, the boy’s cutting skills were not exactly proficient, but he wore a calm expression and explained his actions confidently.

As a therapist, I completely agree with the mother’s approach of allowing her child to learn and gain experience from life. After all, the harm from a serrated knife is limited; even if he does cut himself, it would likely only result in a minor injury, and children tend to recover quickly. However, as a mother myself, I couldn’t help but feel worried while watching the entire process.

When the boy successfully cut through the broccoli, I let out a sigh of relief. I greatly admired his patience and effort, but I was even more impressed by the mother’s courage.

Many parents often struggle between allowing their children to try new things and worrying about them facing setbacks. While many parents rationally understand that children need some autonomy to develop a sense of responsibility and confidence, the instinct to protect their children from failure or pain is powerful. These worries and anxieties lead parents to protect their children from making mistakes in various ways, such as making decisions for them, completing responsibilities they should handle themselves, or persuading them to solve problems in the parents’ way.

Parents’ concerns about their children’s potential failures come from a place of love, which is natural. However, the greatest gift parents can give their children is not to protect them from making mistakes or getting hurt, but to accompany them through the highs and lows, as well as the successes and failures. This kind of companionship includes respect, trust, and support for the child—respecting their right to make their own choices, trusting that they can handle the consequences of those choices, and providing unwavering support when they face difficulties and setbacks.

No one can guarantee that a child’s life will be smooth sailing, but a parent’s presence can assure their child that they are never alone. Only then can children confidently explore, learn, and develop their strengths.

Parenting Tips

Appreciating Children’s Progress from Their Own Baseline

Post author By system
Post date 01/11/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Counseling Psychologist, Shelly Mok

There is a 3-year-old girl who, when she first started play therapy, would throw tantrums at home at least 3 to 4 times a day, each lasting over half an hour. After more than three months of play therapy, her crying frequency decreased to once every one to two weeks, sometimes even three weeks between episodes. However, her mother still felt troubled because, in her social circle, other children generally calmed down after crying for only 5 to 10 minutes. In contrast, her daughter still needed at least half an hour to gradually transition from her crying spells.

Another child, a shy little boy of the same age, when he first began play therapy, would only play with familiar toy cars in the playroom. He cautiously observed the unfamiliar environment and me, a stranger, within his small, safe space. A few months later, his father reported that he began to try playing on the slide by himself at the park and willingly participated in some interest classes without needing his parents’ accompaniment. However, his parents were still very concerned about his social skills, feeling that “he is different from other children.” Each time he participated in group activities, he would stand quietly in a corner with wide eyes, observing others without joining in.

Indeed, when comparing children to others, it is easy to notice their shortcomings. It is natural for parents to hope for their children’s continued improvement and progress. However, please remember that every child is unique, and their baselines are different. When measuring a child’s progress, if we use a “one size fits all” approach based on others’ standards, we may struggle to recognize their advancements and encourage them to keep moving forward, focusing instead on what they have yet to achieve.

For a child who is sensitive, easily frustrated, and has difficulty adapting to change, it may still take her half an hour to express her dissatisfaction. However, when she begins to enhance her resilience in facing difficulties, reducing the frequency of her crying spells is already progress. Before her next crying episode, she may have expended all her energy trying to adapt to the changes in her life and cope with various frustrations. What she needs is for her parents to understand her momentary weakness. She may not confront life as easily as more adaptable children do. Yet, with the understanding, compassion, and acceptance from her parents, she will gradually develop resilience and adaptability, making her life a little easier.

For introverted and highly sensitive children, various external stimuli may overwhelm their capacity to cope. They need to withdraw when they feel it is appropriate, retreating to their safe and comfortable zone to observe their environment slowly, in order to maintain their integrity and sense of security. They may never possess the boundless energy of extroverted children, who can dive into most situations with ease. Parents do not need to overly protect their children, keeping them in their comfort zones indefinitely. However, parental acceptance and companionship can help them gradually expand their world. Trust that their inherent curiosity will guide them in finding ways to engage with this world that suit them. They are not disinterested in socializing; they simply have not found the right approach for themselves.

Humanistic psychology believes that the innate desire of individuals is to grow and mature. Children progress every day. Regardless of the pace, they are making strides. The question is, can we purely stand from the child’s perspective, patiently waiting, and appreciate the unique vitality they radiate throughout their growth process, based on their nature, temperament, and baseline?

Parenting Tips

The First Rule for a Harmonious Family: Make Up Before Bedtime

Post author By system
Post date 01/11/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Stage and TV scriptwriter Cheung Fei Fan
In my family, there is one rule—our only rule: “Don’t bring sadness into your dreams.” This rule was established before my wife and I got married and has been followed ever since we started our family and welcomed our baby.
In any relationship, whether with family or friends, there will inevitably be disagreements. This is also true for couples in love. During our dating days, my wife and I would occasionally have our small disputes. At that time, she made a request: “No matter what arguments we have, please reconcile before bedtime. I don’t want to bring sadness into my dreams.”
As a smart husband, I understood the underlying message: “Regardless of who is right or wrong, if we argue, you need to make it up to me before we sleep!”
There were several times when we argued passionately, and I found it hard to swallow my pride. When bedtime came, I thought to myself, as a grown man, how could I not manage to get over a few bowls of rice? So, I apologized to my wife, and we made up as if nothing had happened.

Once, my son Yat-fu unknowingly did something wrong and I scolded him. He refused to talk to me all day. At first, he hid in his room or behind his mother. But every time he passed by me, he would sneak a glance before retreating to a place where I couldn’t see him.
Eventually, it was time for bed.
Usually, my children, whether it was Yat-fu or his sister No-yi, would excitedly run over to kiss my wife and me, loudly saying, “Sweet dreams!” or “Love you!” However, that night, Yat-fu stubbornly refused to come over and say goodnight. He clung to the helper, constantly shouting that he wanted to go to bed.
So, I walked over to him and asked, “Are you angry with Daddy?”
Yat-fu nodded.
“Because Daddy scolded you today?”
He nodded again, his eyes turning red.
“Can we make up?”
He shook his head.
“What if Daddy apologizes?”
Finally, Yat-fu broke down and cried in my arms, releasing all the grievances he had built up throughout the day.
I’m sure everyone understands that arguments are uncomfortable for both sides. According to Yat-fu, when he gets angry, it feels like a thousand bugs are crawling and biting inside him. So, who would want to take a thousand bugs into their dreams?
In truth, Yat-fu longed for reconciliation; he just didn’t know how to express his feelings due to pride.
I told Yat-fu, “Daddy and Mommy have an agreement: no matter what disagreements we have, we must reconcile before bedtime!”
After all, we shouldn’t let our loved ones go to sleep with tears in their eyes, should we?

Parenting Tips

Understanding Common Infectious Diseases in Schoolchildren

Post author By system
Post date 01/11/2024
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Parenting Tips

Written by : Dr. Chiu Cheung Shing

The weather in Hong Kong can be unpredictable, and combined with children’s weaker immune systems, they are prone to various illnesses. Moreover, children learn and play together at school, making it easy for infectious diseases to spread. Therefore, parents must have a certain understanding of common infectious diseases among schoolchildren to take necessary preventive measures and avoid infections.

In Hong Kong, schoolchildren’s infectious diseases can be categorized based on their mode of transmission:

1. Droplet Transmission
Children can inhale droplets expelled by an infected person when they sneeze, cough, spit, or talk. They may also touch surfaces contaminated with pathogens and then touch their eyes, nose, or mouth, allowing the virus to enter their bodies and cause infection. Common illnesses include upper respiratory infections (commonly referred to as colds), influenza, and hand, foot, and mouth disease.

2. Contact Transmission
This occurs when viruses are transmitted through direct contact with an infected person’s body, such as skin-to-skin contact. The most common example is hand, foot, and mouth disease.

4. Hygiene-Related Infections
Some infectious diseases arise from improper personal hygiene, such as urinary tract infections or gastroenteritis (commonly referred to as stomach flu).

Handling Infectious Diseases

When a child contracts any infectious disease, they should not attend school. Firstly, the child may encounter more viruses at school or further weaken their immune system. Secondly, for public health considerations, it is essential to prevent the spread of the virus. Parents should allow their children to rest at home and return to school only after recovery. Additionally, parents can take preventive actions early, such as ensuring their children receive vaccinations against diseases like influenza or chickenpox, which can effectively prevent infections.

Parents should teach their children to avoid contact with classmates who have colds and to wash their hands frequently, using hand sanitizers appropriately to maintain personal hygiene. They should also instruct their children not to share cups or utensils to prevent cross-infection.

If a school suspects that a student has an infectious disease, teachers should remind the affected student to wear a mask, cover their mouth with a tissue when sneezing or coughing, and should try to isolate the student while properly handling any bodily fluids. Parents should be informed to take the child to see a doctor.

Parenting Tips

How to Help Children Distinguish Between “Needs” and “Wants”? Start Financial Literacy with “Role Modeling”

Post author By system
Post date 01/10/2024
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Certified Children’s Financial Literacy Instructor Miranda Lee

Children growing up during the pandemic have had limited opportunities to go to school and even less chance to go shopping. Many parents are concerned that their children may be missing out on important experiences and are troubled about how to provide “nourishment” for their children’s minds.

Recently, a friend mentioned that her 8-year-old daughter has learned to shop online by herself. Not long ago, she bought a large quantity of stationery and books from an online bookstore, using her parents’ online payment platform. During the purchasing process, the daughter initially intended to buy only two storybooks, but she was attracted by the incessant pop-up ads and promotions, inadvertently adding many extra “wanted” items to her cart.

Indeed, adults occasionally experience “wanting syndrome,” being tempted by the appearance of products and advertisements, leading to impulsive spending. For children with weaker financial literacy, it can be easy to mistakenly believe that online shopping is “zero burden” as long as their parents handle electronic payments, creating a consumption model where “if you want it, you can have it.”

How to Cultivate Correct Spending Habits?

Research shows that parents’ attitudes toward money and their financial habits directly influence their children’s financial perspectives. Therefore, “role modeling” is crucial. Parents should allow their children to observe their spending processes, experiencing how they face the temptation of “wants.” Before shopping, they should ask themselves three questions: Is it worth the money? Do I already have something similar? Am I going to use it regularly? When parents have clarity in their minds, they can naturally avoid impulsive spending.

To incorporate learning into shopping, I first allow my children to select the items they need. The payment process becomes a great opportunity to teach them about “financial literacy.” I encourage them to review their shopping cart to identify what is a “need,” considering the value and practicality of the items. I remind them that while fulfilling “wants” can satisfy desires, it’s essential to assess whether it’s a “need” that should be purchased immediately and whether they should use their own allowance to cover the cost. This approach directly requires them to take money from their wallets to pay. As a result, children become more cautious, hesitating and struggling with the decision of “to buy or not to buy,” which can be quite amusing.

Encouraging children to use physical money helps them understand that items must be purchased with money and cannot be wasted casually.

Parents’ use of money serves as a reflection for children in establishing their financial perspectives. Therefore, setting a good example is very important, making the most of everyday opportunities. The concept of “wants” is endless, while money is limited; thus, we must think carefully before consuming, distinguishing between “needs” and “wants,” and living within our means. Especially during the pandemic, teaching children to be grateful and content is the most valuable financial wisdom we can impart to them for a lifetime.

Parenting Tips

Master These 3 Tips to Help Your Children Follow Instructions!

Post author By system
Post date 01/10/2024

Parenting Tips

“Why don’t you listen?” “Look at how well-behaved that child is.” Have you ever found these phrases familiar? The issue of children not listening is a common problem that many parents struggle to resolve. Some parents resort to scolding, which can worsen the parent-child relationship, while others choose to ignore the behavior, fearing their children will become worse as they grow up.

If you want your children to grow up healthy and happy while also being able to follow instructions, it’s actually not difficult—the key lies in the hands of the parents.

1. Avoid Bombarding with Demands

Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine that when you arrive at work, your boss immediately throws ten tasks at you. You would likely feel frustrated, unsure of where to start, and overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work. The same goes for children; receiving too many instructions at once can leave them feeling confused, and they may not have the ability to prioritize those tasks, leading them to simply “pretend not to hear.” Parents should wait for their children to complete one task before giving them another, rather than listing all demands at once.

2. Avoid Using Interrogative Phrasing

Some parents like to give instructions in the form of questions, such as “How about you clean up after eating?” For children, this is not an instruction but rather a question that they can choose to ignore. If parents want their children to clean up after meals, they should say directly, “You need to clean up after eating.”

3. Choose a Time When Everyone is Focused

When to give instructions is also an important aspect. Sometimes, when children are watching TV or using their phones, they may not hear your instructions at all; they might just respond with a reflexive “Oh” or “Okay,” and then forget completely. Parents can wait until after the children have finished watching TV, or directly ask them for a minute of their attention to ensure that they understand the request. Additionally, when making requests, parents should also put aside other tasks to model focused communication for their children.

Parenting Tips

Essay on Values Education (Empathy)

Post author By system
Post date 01/09/2024

Parenting Tips

by Dr. Cheuk Wong Wing Sze

Recently, with the unstable weather and frequent rain, I encountered a group of high school students waiting in line for the bus. To my surprise, one female student was without an umbrella, looking very disheveled. Quickly, I shared my umbrella with her. They were all in the same school uniform, possibly not well-acquainted with each other, yet seeing a fellow student in such a state, I wondered why no one else was willing to share their umbrella with her. This incident reminded me of the importance of fostering empathy from a young age.

1. Empathy as the Foundation

American psychologist Daniel Goleman, in his book “Working with Emotional Intelligence,” points out that the ability to handle interpersonal relationships is based on empathy. By trying to perceive the needs of others and caring about their perspectives, one can understand their viewpoints, recognize their emotions, respond to their feelings, and enhance their own empathy. In essence, stronger empathy leads to better interpersonal relationships, and vice versa.

2. Recognizing Others’ Emotions

Through perspective-taking, understanding others’ emotions and thoughts is essential for empathizing and problem-solving from their standpoint. It is crucial to educate children from a young age to first recognize their own emotions. In Asian communities, emotions are often more reserved, with a wide range beyond just happy or sad. Teaching children that emotions are neither good nor bad but have appropriate and inappropriate ways of handling them is vital. For instance, it’s okay to feel angry, and when angry, expressing it to someone is acceptable, but resorting to violence is not. Understanding one’s emotions from a young age facilitates empathy towards others and gradually nurtures empathy.

3. Perceiving Others’ Needs

In the bustling city of Hong Kong, where everyone is occupied, people often have their heads down engrossed in their phones, paying less attention to those around them. Teaching children to recognize their emotions and those of others from a young age helps them become more sensitive to the needs of others as they grow up.

I firmly believe that cultivating empathy in children from a young age is crucial. Recently, the Education Bureau has been advocating values education, which includes empathy. By fostering understanding of others’ feelings and needs from a young age, empathizing with others and putting oneself in their shoes, the world can become a better place.

Reference:

Daniel Goleman (1998). “Working with Emotional Intelligence.” Times Publishing Limited.