Category: Parenting Tips

Exercise to strengthen the brain function. Three moves to make children love sports

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Fung Ji Hei, Game Therapist

I participated in a professional development exchange program for teachers in Taiwan earlier, and I was inspired by the emphasis on sports in Taiwan education, which I would like to share with parents. One of the schools on the exchange was the “Tiger Forest Elementary School”, a version of the Sports Institute Elementary School. As soon as we entered the school, the students welcomed us with a gymnastic exercise promoted by the government. They moved their hands and feet together to the beat and made all kinds of warm-up movements, which made people feel that they were as lively as the old tigers, and I was like entering a forest full of old tigers.

Sports can strengthen children’s learning ability

Principal Lau of Tiger Forest Primary School said the school is a government priority school, focusing on the physical development of students and believes that sports can strengthen their learning ability. Based on the research of John J. Ratey, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, they promote a zero-hour exercise program. The program encourages students to be physically active at all times, i.e., Anytime. During recess, students run to the playground to play sports. They play dodgeball, climbing frames, or badminton, and all students enjoy every moment of exercise.

Benefits of Exercise to Strengthen Brain Function

Exercise is known to be physically stimulating, but in Ratey’s research, he points out more benefits of exercise for the brain. He describes the brain as a message processing center that transmits messages through different transmitters (chemicals) in different pathways. When exercising, the brain can effectively produce more transmitters and strengthen the pathways, allowing messages to travel faster and more accurately.

Applying the theory to learning, students use exercise to strengthen their brain function, which in turn improves their learning performance. Studies have shown that exercise improves students’ concentration and memory, both of which are necessary for successful learning. In addition, exercise enables the brain to produce Dopamine (a chemical that makes students feel happy), which makes learning more enjoyable and leads to better grades.

How can I get my child to love sports?

In order for children to enjoy the time and benefits of sports, parents need to get their children to love sports. Here are three suggestions:

Sporadic exercise

Give your child more opportunities to play sports, such as providing the right time, tools, and place, and make sure the environment is safe for parents.

Healthy exercise

Teach your child to do exercise for the love of health and mention the health benefits of exercise.

Exercise together

Enjoy the moment of exercise with your child and enjoy the good time of parent-child relationship.

Parenting Tips

Is it really necessary to establish the authority of the father?

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2025

Parenting Tips

Written by Mr. Leung Wing Lok, an octopus parent

Since I got a Kim Jong-un haircut by a hair stylist, I have been thinking about whether I should implement “Kim Jong-un style of discipline” at home to a pair of children, and to authoritatively promote my personal hero worship to my father, so as to regain my status and authority in the family, and to implement the “Great Father Leader”, and I am planning to hang my own magnificent pictures in all rooms and play the “Love Daddy” song, but unfortunately, it has been a failure before implementation.

Should you build authority in your children from a young age?

Many of my friends would remind me to build authority while my children are still young, otherwise we will not be respected when they grow up. The friends’ good intentions are based on how they were “taught” or “lectured” when they were young, and then they “respected” and “feared” their fathers, and had a good relationship with their fathers when they grew up, so they concluded that “filial children come out from under the rod” and “don’t be disobedient”.

A friend shared his personal story of being beaten “because he was beaten every day, both big and small, he was already used to it”, and one night he felt strange because he had not been “taught a lesson”, and before he went to bed, he did not forget to remind his parents “to beat or not to beat? If not, I will go to sleep ……” is full of black humor. But fortunately, my friend is a kind-hearted person who grew up without a vengeance and did not become a murderer.

Dismantling the true power of fatherhood

The question of how to establish the authority of a father is a perennial problem, and I ask “Why must we establish patriarchal authority? Is the purpose to facilitate management? A command was given and all the children obeyed. Or how much of it is to satisfy one’s own desire for power, “I am the father, you are the children, you must listen to what I say. Or even more, “I say one is one, and my children have no right to say two. I believe that if I were such an “authoritarian” father, I would not be happy either, because my father is not so domineering, and has never “dictated” my decisions on further education, employment, etc., except for when I scored near zero in exams and dictations when I was young, I would be given a harsh “What are you doing? I think this is the power of patriarchal authority.

Teaching by example is more important than discipline

Back to my “Kim Jong-un discipline”, my eldest son, Hay, is always angry because of changing clothes, and the conversation often goes like this, my wife or I: “Change your clothes! We’re going out! “ I kept doing my best to show my fatherly authority (pretending) and said angrily, “Go change your shirt, go, go, go! He was so disturbed but did not do anything. My wife couldn’t resist: “You haven’t changed your shirt yet? Is there anything wrong! Hay replied, “Daddy won’t help me change my shirt! I said : “I’d help you change, but you didn’t. Come on over” He is furious: “I want to change myself “ Normally I will be so angry but before the fake role became a real anger, Hay came to me and hugged me and said “Today is Father’s Day, Happy Father’s Day! I feel a sense of déjà vu…. Teaching by example is more important than discipline, and “Kim Jong-un’s discipline” is even less necessary and is automatically set aside.

Parenting Tips

Failure to adequately address anxiety in young children may exacerbate separation anxiety

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: New Horizons Development Centre, Certified Educational Psychologist

Pang Chi Wah

As the school year begins again, many children cry when they first go to kindergarten. However, there are also children who can go to school without any adjustment period because their parents can prepare them mentally and practice simulations. For children, entering kindergarten may be their first major challenge because some children are separated from their families for the first time when they enter kindergarten, but once they have enough time to become familiar with the school environment, they will feel safe in kindergarten life and will not cry.

What bothers parents and teachers the most is that after a few weeks of enrollment, children continue to cry or expressly resist going back to school. In better cases, they may not like to participate in extracurricular activities, and in more severe cases, they may refuse to go to school, and in some extreme cases, they may not allow their parents to leave their sight. These are all separation anxiety problems.

In fact, there may be deeper reasons why children do not adapt to being separated from their families that need to be understood in depth. For example, some children are admitted to the intensive care unit when they are newborn because they are underweight or have physical problems, or they need to be hospitalized or undergo surgery because they are sick. Although such medical support is necessary for them, it may also lead to traumatic psychological experiences for them, and since then they may be afraid of strangers or unfamiliar places and easily develop separation anxiety, and their sense of security is lower than other children.

In some even worse cases, parents are not allowed to work, or that the child needs to be left with a babysitter, but the children do not want to be left behind, so the parents consider the reality of their needs and have to forcibly separate from them or lie to them. As a result of parents’ misuse of inappropriate methods, their feelings of insecurity during infancy and early childhood are reinforced. The so-called traumatic experiences are actually events that cause them to be psychologically afraid.

The main reason for the lack of security in young children is the separation from their families and the failure of parents to handle the situation properly. Ironically, some caregivers do not provide a safe and adequate living environment in their daily lives, and more importantly, there are frequent changes in caregivers or places, and there are strong contrasts in caregiving practices, causing them to go through psychological adjustment tests before they start school.

Parenting Tips

Emotional Language for Parents and Children

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2025

Parenting Tips

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist

Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

Growing up, we are seldom taught to express our emotions verbally. Schools and society focus on nurturing children’s cognitive, analytical, and problem-solving skills, so we are used to discussing things and opinions, and rarely express our emotions directly in words. Even when families communicate and talk to each other, we are not used to sharing our feelings.

Some parents may ask, “Isn’t it enough for me to express my care for my child through actions (such as hugging or kissing him/her)? Is it necessary for parents to verbally affirm and respond to their children’s feelings and needs?

While it is important for parents to express their love for their children through actions, it is also important for parents to respond empathetically to their children so that they can understand and accept their thoughts and feelings in a more concrete and tangible way. This not only strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds the child’s sense of security, but the child also learns how to verbally express his or her feelings and needs, which helps reduce the need for the child to express his or her inner turmoil through bad behavior.

In fact, the language of emotion is not the language we are used to. Many parents are concerned that affirming and empathizing with their children’s negative emotions may condone and exacerbate their children’s bad behavior. For example, when a child feels sad about the loss of a beloved object, parents are afraid that rehashing the incident will touch on the child’s sad feelings. Parents may say to their children, “It’s okay, just play with something else! or “Try to see if you can buy another one instead. Parents want to calm their children by solving their problems.

However, not only do children fail to learn from their parents’ responses how to access and understand their own feelings and effectively regulate their negative emotions, they also have no opportunity to learn from their failures and develop a sense of responsibility.

If parents can put themselves in their children’s shoes, understand their experiences from their children’s perspective, and try to tell them how they feel, even if it is as simple as “I think you must be very sad and upset about losing your beloved object. This is the most powerful support and comfort for children, giving them the confidence and courage to face the challenges of life.

Parenting Tips

To love children, first to love themselves, 3 moves to teach you to maintain the best mental state

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist

Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

In today’s society, it is indeed not easy for parents to maintain a good state of mind and body. I have met with many parents and found that the difficulty most parents face is not that they do not understand their children’s feelings and needs, or that they do not know how their behavior affects their children, but that it is difficult to maintain a trusting and optimistic attitude towards their children when they are in a situation. Often, parents become increasingly anxious as they worry that their child’s problems will continue and worsen, and repeat ineffective ways of dealing with their child’s problems.

So, how can parents maintain the best mental state to face the stress and challenges of disciplining their children? Here are some tips for parents to consider:

Be more sensitive to your own stress levels

Parents are human beings, so there will be times when they are depressed or physically and emotionally exhausted. The purpose of parents being sensitive to their own mental state is to remind themselves that they need to take care of their own needs first. It is difficult for parents to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children when they are in a highly stressed state. Conversely, inappropriate responses may harm the child and damage the parent-child relationship.

Use resources effectively to relieve stress

When parents feel stressed, they should try to explore and make good use of their own internal and external resources to regulate their negative emotions. For example, find family members or friends to talk to, do things that can relax you, and find positive thoughts and beliefs to encourage you. The purpose is to give yourself a proper rest and temporary relief from stress.

Turn your mind around and reflect

If a parent’s stress continues and increases, professional help is needed. Sometimes, these pressures come from more than just external influences. Parents’ self-worth, worldview, and perceptions of things can affect how we parent. For example, some parents worry that they are not doing enough to fulfill their parental responsibilities and end up pushing their children to study or participate in activities, or even that they are not flexible enough to respond to their children’s needs when they are stressed and negative. If

parents are aware of and take care of their own feelings and needs, they can prevent their negative emotions from affecting the next generation.

Therefore, parents who love their children must first love themselves. Only when parents are healthy and happy can their children grow up healthy and happy.

Parenting Tips

Drawings peek into the inner world of children

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Unleashing Mind Professional Counselling Academy

Psychotherapist Lee Wai-Tong

Painting can give us room to express our feelings. I use a brush to create a dialogue with myself in another language, soothing my emotions or gaining insight and unlocking my heart.

Crying over trivial stuff

In my past child counseling sessions, some parents came to me for help. They did not understand why their son, Ming, often cried over trivial things, such as being late for TV, late for dinner, or when his father came home late, etc. They mentioned the situation to Ming, but they did not understand why, which caused them trouble. Therefore, I suggested conducting a drawing assessment for Ming to understand the environment in which Ming grows up in his mind, which may help to understand the reason why Ming loves to cry.

Drawing reveals the reason for crying

Ming drew a “family story”. While drawing, he expressed his feelings that his parents were busy with work all day, so he often played alone at home. When his parents came home, Ming wanted to play with them, but his father soon became impatient. In Ming’s mind, it seems that his father is always angry; whenever his mother sees this situation, she will argue with him. In Ming’s eyes, his mother always looks sad when she argues with his father. In Ming’s mind, he knew that his parents loved him, but when he saw that his father was angry and his mother was sad because of him, he felt sad.

A peek into the inner world through paintings

Later, I met with Ming’s parents again. They never imagined that the quarrel in front of Ming was deeply engraved in their son’s heart. In addition, the father also found that his tiredness after work affected the quality of parent-child interaction. In this regard, I taught the father some relaxation methods and suggested setting up a “calm zone” at home to give everyone a space to relieve their emotions, and the parents promised to avoid arguing in front of Ming.

A month later, Ming no longer cried over trivial matters and the parent-child relationship was better than before. Painting can reflect children’s inner world view. In the process of creation, children project their inner world intentionally or unintentionally, so that we can understand their inner world and help them grow up healthily.

Parenting Tips

School Class Teachers are More Important Than You Might Think

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by : Doctor Hui Lung Kit

Child Psychiatry’s primary concern is to determine whether a child’s behavior is normal or abnormal, and whether it is normal or abnormal should be judged according to the rules of Child Developmental Psychology. But in reality, do parents have to get a bunch of books on child development and look at the textbooks to observe their children? This is a time-consuming and costly process. One of the simpler ways is to ask your child’s class teacher.

Have you ever heard of children moving up a grade every year, like going from Grade 1 to Grade 2, Grade 3 to Grade 4? But have you ever heard of teachers moving up a grade? Generally speaking, many teachers spend months and years teaching students at the same grade level. More experienced teachers may even spend over ten years teaching children of the same age. As a result, they may have interacted with hundreds of students of the same age over time.

Developmental assessments for children place significant emphasis on comparing them with their peers of the same age. By using a large sample size of data and employing statistical methods, a reference definition of normal and abnormal can be established. An experienced teacher, with ample teaching experience, already encompasses a substantial sample size within her own teaching practice. Based on this, she can determine what is considered normal and abnormal.

For example, let’s say in September this year, a class teacher is faced with a new class of 30 students in Grade 1. When assessing each individual student, the teacher unconsciously compares the current students with the same-age students they have taught in the past. If, through this comparison, the teacher senses something “off” or “peculiar” about a student, this feeling actually holds statistical significance! However, teachers themselves may not be aware of it.

Many parents have a significant lack of trust in schools and teachers. I have also observed some common blind spots in the evaluation process of schools and teachers (such as generally having more lenient behavioral standards for academically successful students). However, it is important to remember that parents only interact with their own 1 or 2 children on a daily basis, while schools and teachers deal with hundreds of students. When determining whether a child’s emotions and behaviors are normal or abnormal, the opinions of schools and teachers undoubtedly hold valuable reference points.

Parenting Tips

Small Training for Writing Skills

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung

“His handwriting is always out of line; it always ‘flies’ all over the place!”

“He can’t even write within the boxes; he usually takes up two boxes for one character!”

“He often skips lines or spaces when writing!”

“It seems like he doesn’t apply enough pressure when he writes; his writing is so faint that it’s almost unreadable!

These comments reflect the experiences of many children learning to write in K2. When children write, they need to coordinate many abilities, the simplest being the strength and dexterity of their finger muscles (fine motor skills). If there is insufficient training in fine motor skills, children may struggle with writing or holding a pen effectively. So, how can parents address and train this? It’s simple: let them play with playdough, clay, and flour from a young age.

Secondly, visual-spatial awareness and eye control are also important for copying. General ball activities are excellent training options. Tracking a ball visually and then performing an action to catch (or kick) it is a natural and fun form of training. Additionally, games like “spot the difference” (finding the differences between two pictures) and maze games (first finding the way with their eyes and then connecting the dots with a pen) can also benefit eye control.

Hand-eye coordination is, of course, crucial in copying practice! Activities like tossing and catching beanbags, fishing games, pouring exercises, and cutting paper can greatly aid hand-eye coordination.

When should these games start? How long should they be practiced each day? In fact, parents can start playing these games with their children as soon as they understand and are able to play. Moreover, parents should base activities on the child’s willingness; when the child doesn’t want to play, parents should switch to another game instead of insisting on a set duration. My philosophy is that through daily play, children can acquire certain skills to prevent problems, rather than relying on remedial practice. Otherwise, even the best games can become tedious and unenjoyable, leading to more suffering than enjoyment!

Parenting Tips

Parents and Children Have Very Different Personalities, Leading to Misunderstandings and Worries?

Post author By system
Post date 01/01/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Psychotherapist Lee Wai-Tong, Unleashing Mind Professional Counseling Institute

According to the psychological type proposed by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, each of us has a natural temperament that becomes a direction of growth in the process of growth. However, the different temperaments of parents and children may cause some misunderstandings and worries in the process of children’s growth

From talkative to silent，different behavior at home and at school

A mother brought her 5-year-old son, Chi, to my center after being introduced by a friend. During the initial conversation with the mother, she was quite talkative and would talk about Chi’s life while she was thinking. She mentioned that Chi was quiet in kindergarten and in the learning group, which was very different from his talkative nature at home. In addition, when Chi came home from school, his mother saw his tired face and did not say a word, so she went up to him to ask him about his schooling, but Chi did not want to talk much and read books or play with toys alone. The mother also tried to call to find out how Chi was doing in kindergarten, but the teacher reported that there was nothing different when Chi was in school, which made the mother worried whether he was unhappy in school, but she did not understand or dared not say anything.

I suggested to the mother to conduct a play consultation assessment for Chi, hoping to understand more about his personality characteristics. I invited him into the playroom and allowed him to lead the game in the playroom. During the process, he tended to observe first and asked me with his eyes if he could play with the toys. When I showed interest in his games, he would let me watch him play without saying a word, and sometimes he would smile at me. In this play consultation with Chi, we found that Chi’s temperament tends to be “introverted”, so the situation described by the mother is also the behavior of an “introverted” child

Different communication methods for “extroverted” and “introverted” children

I found that perhaps the mother’s temperament tends to be “extroverted” while Chi tends to be “introverted”, but because of the difference in temperament, the mother was worried about Chi. For example, an “extroverted” child can come home after a day of school and talk to his parents about the process of school and become lively again; on the other hand, an “introverted” child needs to calm down and integrate the day’s learning., and then talk to his parents about the process of school. After the mother understands the difference in temperament, she can teach her “introverted” child how to talk about his heart

After a week, I contacted the mother again and she realized that her son was an “introverted” child who behaved quite differently from herself, and I had taught her how to guide her child to talk about what was on his mind, so she could finally relieve her worries. In fact, there are differences in nature and temperament. If we can guide them well, we can not only solve the misunderstanding between parents and children, but also improve the control and teaching of children!

Parenting Tips

This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy?

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Post date 01/01/2025
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Parenting Tips

Written by: Dr. Wong Chung-kwong, Vice Chairman of The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

“Unsuccessful, therefore unhappy!” This mindset is not difficult to understand. However, in today’s world, why are many successful people still unhappy?

In my clinical work, I often encounter many unhappy individuals. Years ago, a successful and wealthy man in his sixties confided in me. He shared that after years of hard work in his career, accumulating wealth, he felt lonely and unhappy. I asked him, “What have you been pursuing all your life?” Without hesitation, he answered, “My career.” I continued, “What have you gained in your career but lost in the process?” He pondered for a while and then admitted that his relationship with his wife and children was very distant.

There are two things in life that are quite similar, and not understanding the difference between them is often a significant reason for unhappiness. These two things are “needs” and “wants.” To be happy, we “need” emotional fulfillment, which includes good family relationships and friendships. However, many people, in their pursuit of what they “want”—careers and wealth—neglect their families and undervalue friendships. Even though they achieve the careers and wealth they desire, their emotional “needs” remain unmet, leading to loneliness and unhappiness. If you feel unhappy, take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have been pursuing in life.

“I had everything in my childhood, but I lacked… “

Have you ever considered that there is a child inside you?

Throughout life, we search for many things, one of which is to find the child within ourselves. Look at these photos; which one resembles the child within you?

This is also a true story from years ago. A middle-aged woman confided in me: “I grew up in a wealthy family, lacking for nothing materially. However, my mother was an unhappy person; she was often at home but rarely spent time with me. My father worked long hours, and I seldom saw him. We had everything at home, but it felt like I had no parents!”

This woman worked diligently in her studies and excelled academically. As an adult, she achieved great success in her career, and her husband treated her well, yet she still felt profoundly unhappy.

Children who lack parental love often feel anxious, lonely, and unhappy. Although they may achieve success and have a happy family in adulthood, the feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and unhappiness linger. Why is this? Simply put, they seem to exist in two worlds simultaneously: in the “real world,” they are successful and happy adults; but in their “inner world,” they live with an anxious, lonely, and unhappy child.

If you are an unhappy person, please take a moment to pause and reflect. Seek out the child within your heart and see whether he or she is a happy or an unhappy child.