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What Can You Do If Your Child Is Afraid of Embarrassment?

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Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

It is quite common for young children to become “shy kids” when they encounter strangers or find themselves in unfamiliar environments. How can parents help them break through this barrier and avoid hiding behind them every time they meet new friends?

Are Children Afraid of Strangers or Anyone?

In fact, shyness is a common experience for young children. They may not understand the motives or intentions of others, or they might feel scared in new environments. This is a normal reaction. Shyness is an inner psychological state, and parents should analyze their child’s reactions to different people to determine whether they are afraid of strangers or even shy around familiar faces.

If a child feels shy due to the unusual appearance or attire of strangers, or if they are in an unfamiliar environment with poor lighting or enclosed spaces, it is important to note that adults can also exhibit similar behaviors. Feeling shy or panicked in unfamiliar places or crowds is a normal reaction.

Gradual Exposure to Adapt to Environments and People

There are both extroverted and introverted children, as these are personality traits. Parents need to accept their child’s personality while also nurturing them to break through their limits. If a child remains shy for an extended period, it can hinder their exploration of the world, limit opportunities to enhance cognitive abilities, and reduce chances for social interaction and engagement in new learning experiences.

Parents should help their children gradually adapt to social interactions, moving from familiar to unfamiliar. Start with family members, then relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, and finally strangers, slowly expanding the child’s social circle. Additionally, some children may not be afraid of facing others but may feel uncomfortable in certain unfamiliar environments. Parents should regularly take their children to different new places to expose them to new experiences, helping them learn to remain calm and increasing their social comfort zones. However, parents should not rush this process.

Developmental Issues Can Also Cause Shyness

Moreover, parents should be aware of potential developmental issues that might lead them to mistakenly perceive their child as shy, or that may actually be the root cause of their shyness. For instance, if a child has hearing development issues, their ability to respond to and receive sounds will naturally be poorer than that of a normally developing child. Similarly, if a child is nearsighted or farsighted, their inability to see clearly can lead to feelings of shyness. If parents do not recognize that this shyness stems from vision problems, they may mistakenly believe the child is simply more reserved, overlooking the real issue.

Additionally, issues such as sensory integration dysfunction, social barriers, and poor coordination between different sensory channels can also lead to similar behaviors in children. If parents are unable to identify the underlying problems, they should seek assistance from professionals to diagnose the root causes and address them promptly, greatly reducing the impact on the child.

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School Class Teachers are More Important Than You Might Think

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Written by : Doctor Hui Lung Kit

Child Psychiatry’s primary concern is to determine whether a child’s behavior is normal or abnormal, and whether it is normal or abnormal should be judged according to the rules of Child Developmental Psychology. But in reality, do parents have to get a bunch of books on child development and look at the textbooks to observe their children? This is a time-consuming and costly process. One of the simpler ways is to ask your child’s class teacher.

Have you ever heard of children moving up a grade every year, like going from Grade 1 to Grade 2, Grade 3 to Grade 4? But have you ever heard of teachers moving up a grade? Generally speaking, many teachers spend months and years teaching students at the same grade level. More experienced teachers may even spend over ten years teaching children of the same age. As a result, they may have interacted with hundreds of students of the same age over time.

Developmental assessments for children place significant emphasis on comparing them with their peers of the same age. By using a large sample size of data and employing statistical methods, a reference definition of normal and abnormal can be established. An experienced teacher, with ample teaching experience, already encompasses a substantial sample size within her own teaching practice. Based on this, she can determine what is considered normal and abnormal.

For example, let’s say in September this year, a class teacher is faced with a new class of 30 students in Grade 1. When assessing each individual student, the teacher unconsciously compares the current students with the same-age students they have taught in the past. If, through this comparison, the teacher senses something “off” or “peculiar” about a student, this feeling actually holds statistical significance! However, teachers themselves may not be aware of it.

Many parents have a significant lack of trust in schools and teachers. I have also observed some common blind spots in the evaluation process of schools and teachers (such as generally having more lenient behavioral standards for academically successful students). However, it is important to remember that parents only interact with their own 1 or 2 children on a daily basis, while schools and teachers deal with hundreds of students. When determining whether a child’s emotions and behaviors are normal or abnormal, the opinions of schools and teachers undoubtedly hold valuable reference points.

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Small Training for Writing Skills

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Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung

“His handwriting is always out of line; it always ‘flies’ all over the place!”

“He can’t even write within the boxes; he usually takes up two boxes for one character!”

“He often skips lines or spaces when writing!”

“It seems like he doesn’t apply enough pressure when he writes; his writing is so faint that it’s almost unreadable!

These comments reflect the experiences of many children learning to write in K2. When children write, they need to coordinate many abilities, the simplest being the strength and dexterity of their finger muscles (fine motor skills). If there is insufficient training in fine motor skills, children may struggle with writing or holding a pen effectively. So, how can parents address and train this? It’s simple: let them play with playdough, clay, and flour from a young age.

Secondly, visual-spatial awareness and eye control are also important for copying. General ball activities are excellent training options. Tracking a ball visually and then performing an action to catch (or kick) it is a natural and fun form of training. Additionally, games like “spot the difference” (finding the differences between two pictures) and maze games (first finding the way with their eyes and then connecting the dots with a pen) can also benefit eye control.

Hand-eye coordination is, of course, crucial in copying practice! Activities like tossing and catching beanbags, fishing games, pouring exercises, and cutting paper can greatly aid hand-eye coordination.

When should these games start? How long should they be practiced each day? In fact, parents can start playing these games with their children as soon as they understand and are able to play. Moreover, parents should base activities on the child’s willingness; when the child doesn’t want to play, parents should switch to another game instead of insisting on a set duration. My philosophy is that through daily play, children can acquire certain skills to prevent problems, rather than relying on remedial practice. Otherwise, even the best games can become tedious and unenjoyable, leading to more suffering than enjoyment!

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AHKF Holds Annual Parade 2025 with Parent-child Activities – Outstanding Award and Parent Active Participation Award

AHKF Holds Annual Parade 2025 with Parent-child Activities – Outstanding Award and Parent Active Participation Award

AHKF Holds Annual Parade 2025 with Parent-child Activities - Outstanding Award and Parent Active Participation Award

flag raising team2025年幼兒隊伍周年檢閲禮暨親子活動_ENG
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Asia Student Arts Festival 2025 International Round Folk Dance Group – 1st Runner-up

Asia Student Arts Festival 2025 International Round Folk Dance Group – 1st Runner-up

Asia Student Arts Festival 2025 International Round Folk Dance Group - 1st Runner-up

chinese dance 亞洲學生藝術節 藝術大賽2025_ENG
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Parents and Children Have Very Different Personalities, Leading to Misunderstandings and Worries?

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Written by: Psychotherapist Lee Wai-Tong, Unleashing Mind Professional Counseling Institute

According to the psychological type proposed by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, each of us has a natural temperament that becomes a direction of growth in the process of growth. However, the different temperaments of parents and children may cause some misunderstandings and worries in the process of children’s growth

From talkative to silent，different behavior at home and at school

A mother brought her 5-year-old son, Chi, to my center after being introduced by a friend. During the initial conversation with the mother, she was quite talkative and would talk about Chi’s life while she was thinking. She mentioned that Chi was quiet in kindergarten and in the learning group, which was very different from his talkative nature at home. In addition, when Chi came home from school, his mother saw his tired face and did not say a word, so she went up to him to ask him about his schooling, but Chi did not want to talk much and read books or play with toys alone. The mother also tried to call to find out how Chi was doing in kindergarten, but the teacher reported that there was nothing different when Chi was in school, which made the mother worried whether he was unhappy in school, but she did not understand or dared not say anything.

I suggested to the mother to conduct a play consultation assessment for Chi, hoping to understand more about his personality characteristics. I invited him into the playroom and allowed him to lead the game in the playroom. During the process, he tended to observe first and asked me with his eyes if he could play with the toys. When I showed interest in his games, he would let me watch him play without saying a word, and sometimes he would smile at me. In this play consultation with Chi, we found that Chi’s temperament tends to be “introverted”, so the situation described by the mother is also the behavior of an “introverted” child

Different communication methods for “extroverted” and “introverted” children

I found that perhaps the mother’s temperament tends to be “extroverted” while Chi tends to be “introverted”, but because of the difference in temperament, the mother was worried about Chi. For example, an “extroverted” child can come home after a day of school and talk to his parents about the process of school and become lively again; on the other hand, an “introverted” child needs to calm down and integrate the day’s learning., and then talk to his parents about the process of school. After the mother understands the difference in temperament, she can teach her “introverted” child how to talk about his heart

After a week, I contacted the mother again and she realized that her son was an “introverted” child who behaved quite differently from herself, and I had taught her how to guide her child to talk about what was on his mind, so she could finally relieve her worries. In fact, there are differences in nature and temperament. If we can guide them well, we can not only solve the misunderstanding between parents and children, but also improve the control and teaching of children!

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This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy?

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Written by: Dr. Wong Chung-kwong, Vice Chairman of The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

“Unsuccessful, therefore unhappy!” This mindset is not difficult to understand. However, in today’s world, why are many successful people still unhappy?

In my clinical work, I often encounter many unhappy individuals. Years ago, a successful and wealthy man in his sixties confided in me. He shared that after years of hard work in his career, accumulating wealth, he felt lonely and unhappy. I asked him, “What have you been pursuing all your life?” Without hesitation, he answered, “My career.” I continued, “What have you gained in your career but lost in the process?” He pondered for a while and then admitted that his relationship with his wife and children was very distant.

There are two things in life that are quite similar, and not understanding the difference between them is often a significant reason for unhappiness. These two things are “needs” and “wants.” To be happy, we “need” emotional fulfillment, which includes good family relationships and friendships. However, many people, in their pursuit of what they “want”—careers and wealth—neglect their families and undervalue friendships. Even though they achieve the careers and wealth they desire, their emotional “needs” remain unmet, leading to loneliness and unhappiness. If you feel unhappy, take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have been pursuing in life.

“I had everything in my childhood, but I lacked… “

Have you ever considered that there is a child inside you?

Throughout life, we search for many things, one of which is to find the child within ourselves. Look at these photos; which one resembles the child within you?

This is also a true story from years ago. A middle-aged woman confided in me: “I grew up in a wealthy family, lacking for nothing materially. However, my mother was an unhappy person; she was often at home but rarely spent time with me. My father worked long hours, and I seldom saw him. We had everything at home, but it felt like I had no parents!”

This woman worked diligently in her studies and excelled academically. As an adult, she achieved great success in her career, and her husband treated her well, yet she still felt profoundly unhappy.

Children who lack parental love often feel anxious, lonely, and unhappy. Although they may achieve success and have a happy family in adulthood, the feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and unhappiness linger. Why is this? Simply put, they seem to exist in two worlds simultaneously: in the “real world,” they are successful and happy adults; but in their “inner world,” they live with an anxious, lonely, and unhappy child.

If you are an unhappy person, please take a moment to pause and reflect. Seek out the child within your heart and see whether he or she is a happy or an unhappy child.

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Play With Toys to Help Young Children Develop, Don’t Just Rely on Technology Products

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Written by: Certified Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah, New Horizons Development Centre

As the 21st century has entered the generation of electronic media, many parents are not used to buying newspapers, but have also become accustomed to communicating with people online, shopping, reading newspapers and playing games etc. Some parents have also started to buy fewer toys for their children because many games can be played online anytime and anywhere, which is convenient and economical, and the items are diversified and easy to carry.

In fact, the use of computers is becoming more and more popular, from the business world to the education world and everyone’s daily life. Some parents feel that they need to teach their children to use computers as soon as possible so that they can be one step ahead of others and become smarter. But this argument ignores the fact that no matter how diversified and comprehensive the use of electronic media is, everyone needs to live in the real world and deal with their daily lives in a real way.

In recent years, more and more children are being diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, some of which are genetic in origin, but some of which are caused by a lack of proper stimulation in later life. Regardless of the cause, society is increasingly demanding more and more of human sensory integration, but unfortunately, as young children grow up, their bodies are less likely to be switched to different space direction due to advanced technology, and their eyes and hands are left to complete tasks on their behalf without much coordination. They will need to face many challenges in the future, but if they are not sufficiently trained during their growth, they will easily encounter many obstacles in the future.

Playing with toys is a natural part of a child’s life, and if they have virtual toys or games, they may lack real personal sensory stimulation. During the infant and toddler years, parents need to provide them with sensory stimulation of the ears, eyes, hands, feet, body, and brain so that they can develop the coordination exercises they need. There are many toys available in the market according to their age, and the categories are very clear, such as 6 months play, one year play, two years play …… you name it. As long as parents are willing to buy, it is not difficult to find the right toys, such as hand-eye coordination, ear-hand interaction and ear-eye sensory integration.

In addition, parents may want their children to grow up to be teachers, police officers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, or bosses, so they can directly and specifically play the roles, manipulate the tools needed, apply appropriate language, and interact with people in a realistic way through toys. Parents are advised to buy such toys related to vocational skills to induce them to play in these roles, as opposed to just looking at a computer screen to fully grasp multi-sensory stimulation.

Although parents may spend a lot of money on toys, and the time spent playing with them may not be very long, it is definitely worth it to ensure that they get the stimulation they deserve. For a more environmentally friendly use of these toys, parents can also collect toys in three-month increments and resell them to other parents or give them to friends. Parents should remember to buy the right toys for their children’s development

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Open-ended questions help enhance children’s associative skills

家長錦囊

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Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist

Many parents hope to enhance their children’s thinking skills. In fact, as long as parents properly guide their children to connect some small things in life and then ask leading questions, they can consciously think about the things they see and related knowledge. For example, when children see an apple, let them think about what kind of object is also round or red; when they hear the sound of birds, they will think about what kind of animal can fly.

Ask your child more questions that are not restrictive

When parents ask children questions, do not force them to answer or ask for a definite answer, or even ask them to answer the question right away because they may still be thinking about it. Parents do not need to ask any restrictive questions and can ask whatever comes to mind, such as what kind of objects chopsticks are like and what kind of people wear uniforms like students. In addition to making them think more, parents can also think and discuss with their children as a parent-child activity, which helps to enhance their relationship.

In addition to asking individual questions, parents can also allow children to answer questions with their siblings or friends. For children with higher ability, parents can let them answer more different answers; for children with average ability, they can answer fewer answers; for those with weaker ability, parents can guide them to answer through appropriate prompting and demonstration.

Parents can look for questions in their lives

Parents can look for questions in their lives that they can ask. They can even try to ask questions that are imaginative and open to discussion, so that their children can use their imagination and associative power. For example, parents can ask their children what things are round outdoors, what things in the house are made of iron, what foods are red, and so on. On the other hand, questions with definite and positive answers, such as math questions (1 plus 1 equals how many), are generally called “closed-ended questions” and are not very helpful in improving children’s associative skills because they only have specific answers.

 

In fact, creation and association should start from the smallest things, which is a good way to train children’s associative and thinking skills. Therefore, parents should start from today to enhance your child’s associative skills!

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Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children?

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Written by: Gigamind English Primary School, Principal Kenneth Law

The Primary 1 application process has begun. How can parents choose the right school for their children? How to determine if a school is the right one? While a child’s individual traits are certainly important, young children are highly adaptable. Therefore, the parents’ expectations for education and whether the school can meet those expectations become more crucial. Parents can learn about a school through the following methods:

 

  1. School websites

 

Many parents would use the school website to understand the school, but the design direction of different school websites varies, making it difficult to compare them. However, websites generally provide some basic information, which can be considered a convenient way to learn about the school.

  1. Primary School Profile

“Primary School Overview” is also a means to obtain basic information about schools. Unlike websites, the layout of “Primary School Overview” has limitations on titles and word count, making it appear easier to compare. However, it is difficult to see the school’s features, so “Primary School Overview” can only be considered as an additional convenient approach for parents to get to know the school.


  1. Understanding through “Word of Mouth”

 

Collecting opinions of different people about the school, commonly known as “word of mouth,” can be an important way to understand the school. In fact, it is also a significant factor considered by most parents. However, there are two points that parents need to pay attention to when understanding the school through word of mouth. Firstly, everyone’s observations may be incomplete, and schools can change, so parents should listen to different opinions. Secondly, everyone has different expectations for education. What others consider important advantages may not be important to you, and you may even consider them as disadvantages.

 

  1. Visiting the School

 

What about visiting the school? Some people doubt whether visiting the school can reveal its true nature, but I believe that personal contact is still important. Every school has information they want the public to know, which represents the elements the school values. This information can be obtained during a visit. Does this school want everyone to know that its students have good discipline or are lively and confident? Does it emphasize high academic standards or a diverse range of activities? Parents can make comparisons based on these aspects.

 

By having a clear understanding of their own expectations for education and evaluating in their own direction, it is less likely to be influenced by superficial factors. Choosing a school for one’s children is not easy, but if parents can be clear about what they want and use various approaches to gather information, they will believe that everything will fall into place.

 

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